Impassive
by Aryana Svit-Kona
Summary: "Do you hate me?" "Why would I ever hate you, Ritsu? You're my best friend." "Then... I wish to see that myself." The world isn't the same without you. The body rests but the soul is nowhere. I want you. I want your soul. Not that impassive smile.  Mitsu.


Oh my oh my. Such a dreary fanfiction for such an important day. This was meant to be a Valentine's Day fanfic, yes, but oh well, I cannot help it. I seem to have... Ah, an attraction to angst-based fanfics.

Well, allow to speak no more.

**To be, or not to be. That is the question.  
(Hamlet) **

Standard Disclaimer: I do _not _own K-ON! If I do... -inserts evil smile- Proceed.

* * *

A Mitsu Fanfiction: **IMPASSIVE**

**Chapter 1: The Test**

_God has given me the things I need. Yet I asked for more. What befell me was my greed and my ego. A paper I possess, but a notebook I ask. A pencil I own, but a pen I inquire. Misfortune came about and took what I have. Now it does not matter. For I have lost my own best friend._

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C

Winds howled through the night, sending uncontrollable shivers up the spine of the mature, dark-haired girl, tightening her eyes in response to the chilly whispers of nature. She was kneeling on the side of the road, or was it a nightmare she is now sitting in? But it did not bother her. Not the least.

The sky was clear and dark, and a silvery cloud pregnant with water drifted over them like a magical umbrella about to burst open and releasing sparkles in the air. It was a beautiful night; yet she did not enjoy it. What is there to enjoy now? She closed her eyes, and let a tear wet her listless face. Eternity seemed to seep into that moment, absorbing every little second trailing by, and pausing the little drops of salty water her disobeying eyes were producing. But, no, she didn't care. Hours seemed to stretch by as she held the same position. Bereft of strength, she relaxed her shoulders, knowing that hope would never pass by her again.

Not far from her lied someone. Her eyes were not betraying as she giddily stood up and made her way slowly towards the figure. Drained of energy, she collapsed on her knees and her arms outstretched. Her hands fall into contact with another's. It was cold to the touch as if devoid of life, but she leaned in and wrapped her warm hand around it.

A raindrop fell and she closed her eyes; a reflex movement. It began to drizzle, but she paid no heed to it. She held the hand harder, wishing it would move so she would not be alone in this forlorn little world. She could feel her heart; it was beating furiously as if longing something. Or someone. Her hand grew cold, and the rain fell harder. Opening her eyes, the lonesome darkness met her searching gaze. _Is it over?_

Not knowing the difference between the dark and the light, her headache intensified and enveloped her in a dizzy embrace. Before slumber took hold of her, she wondered, _Are clowns meant to be funny? If they are, why am I not laughing anymore?_

_C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C_

**_Rewinding…_**

"Hand over your money!"

A familiar voice caught up with the long-haired girl. Swinging her bass carefully to side, she turned and bumped hard into a laughing ochre-haired girl. Her golden eyes shined with fiery enthusiasm as she smiled her trademark grin. Patting an apologizing tap on her best friend's shoulder, she rubbed the back of her head, grinning while doing so.

"Did I scare you?" she teased. Mio responded with a not-so-gentle flick to her open forehead. Ritsu squealed and cradled her brow, whimpering and grinning simultaneously.

"What a flick to start the day!" she cheerfully replied, not concerned about the red mark on her forehead that was slowly getting larger. "How are you today, Mii~o? I hope you didn't forget to wear new panties today, considering that yesterday, you…" She received a handful of bumps on her head, and a red-faced Mio, holding her fist threateningly.

"Ritsu!" she cried out, trying to resist the temptation to flick her teasing friend again in the forehead. "One more time, and I _swear_ I'll take that grin off your face for weeks!"

The amber-eyed girl chortled as she went into fits of laughter, holding her sides. Her bumps had subsided as well, and an exasperated Mio placed her hands on her hips. _Goodness gracious… Baka Ritsu…_ Thankfully, another merry cry was heard over Ritsu's loud guffaw.

"Ohayou, Mio-chan! Ricchan!" greeted Mugi, her gentle sweet voice honeying the mood. She waved at them and ran towards Mio.

"I'm sorry I'm late! Where are the others?" she apologized, huffing and holding her knees, apparently not noticing Ritsu's maniacal laughters. Mio ignored her and replied in resigned tones. "Thank goodness you're here. Yui said she'll be going with her sister this morning, so I think we'd better go now."

Mugi smiled sweetly and nodded jovially. "Of course. I have the impression you both are sharing a good joke, yes?" She gestured amusedly at the still-laughing Ritsu.

"Leave her," replied Mio, shaking her head submissively, and walked forwards. Ritsu had to punch herself in the stomach to stop her laughs. She followed them, hands in the air and a joyful grin in her face.

"I was kidding, Mio! Seriously! B-But that… Erasing off my smile for weeks would be nigh impossible!" exclaimed Ritsu, holding her sides.

Mugi just smiled and giggled.

_Somehow, it gives me pleasure just seeing those two having fun. _Her startlingly sapphire-blue eyes sparkled with delight as she laughed along with Ritsu. Mio's frown dissipated after a while, and with a sigh, smiled auspiciously as she looked at the bright azure sky decorated with puffy cotton clouds.

_Nothing could ruin this appealingly beautiful day._

* * *

_The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.  
__Mark Twain_

* * *

"Ricchan! Mio-chan! Mugi-chaan!" welcomed Yui enthusiastically, running up to them as the trio reached the Sakuragaoka school gates.

"Hey!" saluted Ritsu, grinning at her 'private'. "Nice to see you up and early."

Yui saluted back, slapping the side of her hand to her forehead. "Compliments appreciated, sir!" The clowns laughed along until tears ran down their faces.

Mio rolled her eyes at the two of them, and continued to walk. "Where's Azusa?"

Yui shook her head. "She's not here yet." She seemed worried for a reason as she knelt down and changed her shoes to indoor slippers.

Mugi smiled kindly and said, "I'm sure she'll come."

She was right. Not long after they climbed up the stairs towards their club room, chatting in rather deafening tones and strident laughters, not to mention some head-whacks coming from the somewhat annoyed Mio, the petite twin-tailed-haired girl arrived at the door of the club room, panting jadedly. Azusa had no room to breathe as tight warm arms cuddled her close. Used to these sudden embraces, she sighed, but a light smile danced upon her lips.

"I thought you'd gone lost, or something!" Yui exclaimed, tightening her hold on her beloved kouhai.

Azusa responded with a little moan, muttering that she couldn't breathe, and Yui released her. "Heheh, guess I held you too tight." She rubbed the back of her head, grinning.

"I – I think I should be saying that," panted Azusa, straightening.

The club room fell quiet as Azusa's heavy pants filled the room. Surprised and embarrassed, Azusa raised her eyebrow. "D-Did I say something wrong?"

Her amber-eyed senpai looked as if she was restraining to hold her laughter; Mio's face had shock written all over her face; the cerulean-eyed girl was positively delighted about something and her own madly enthusiastic brown-eyed senpai had tears in her eyes.

"W-What?"

Mio spoke first. "T-T… I never knew you always hugged Yui back, Azusa."

"THAT WAS FUNNY!" Ritsu exclaimed, pointing a finger at Azusa and exploding into fits of laughters.

Mugi looked ready to burst from the thrill.

Azusa realized with a jolt and stepped backwards. "I didn't mean that! I meant…" Meeting another embrace, her face grew even redder than ever.

"That was so sweet of you, Azu-nyan!" sobbed Yui, moved with tears. The twin-tailed kouhai relinquished and returned the gesture gently.

Mio reacted with a giggle and smiled along. Mugi looked ready to jump from the window; her cheeks were glowing with passion. Ritsu just continued to laugh and Mio had to flick her in the forehead to stop her.

She sighed just as the school bell rang for class.

* * *

_With that fearful strain on me, night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.  
__Abraham Lincoln_

* * *

"What's wrong, Mio?"

A pretty short-haired girl by the name Nodoka Manabe, asked with obvious concern, holding her packed lunch to eat with Mio. It was already breaktime, and Ritsu was called by Sawako-sensei in the teachers' room.

"Ah, Nodoka-chan," said Mio relievedly, and moved her chair to the side to give some room. After Nodoka was seated, she unpacked her own food and began picking at it.

"What's troubling you?" Nodoka politely asked.

Mio shook her head. "Nothing. It's just that I'm getting tired of listening to Ritsu's earsplitting laughs every few minutes. It's as if she does that just to annoy me!"

Nodoka smiled amusedly. "I'm sure it's to humour you."

"Humour me? Psh," sighed Mio, inserting a piece of omelette to her mouth.

"I believe so. If not, why would she receive the whacks from you without complaining?"

"She deserves it!"

"Perhaps, but, remember, Mio-san, she _is _like that. I know it's not my place to criticize your best friend whom you have known for years, so I shall only say this once. Careful of what you say." She smiled politely and finished off her lunch. Bidding farewell, she left the class.

Mio lowered her gaze. After a moment, she raised her head, and found that everyone had gone out of the classroom. Not feeling hungry, she closed her lunchbox. "But I do wish she'll stop laughing crazily like that. It just…gets on my nerves," she muttered softly to not anyone in particular, crossed at herself for being so lenient and unaware that a pair of soft golden eyes peeking at her through the window, though she made no movement.

Several minutes passed… until….

Until the door clicked open, and someone entered the class. Mio looked up and saw Mugi hesitantly smiling at her.

"Mio-chan," called the swift Mugi, approaching the raven-haired girl. "Ricchan informed that today's practice is aborted."

Mio snorted mentally. _It's not as if we're actually practicing, anyway. _"Why?"

Mugi shrugged lightly. "I haven't the faintest idea. Perhaps she is busy?" smiled the gentle ojou-sama, pulling up a chair next to Mio.

Mio rolled her eyes, and smiled amusedly at the thought of having a hard-working Ritsu. _Utterly impossible. _

Mugi tilted her head. "Shall we have tea then? The others are already upstairs, and we have a quarter of an hour more until the bell rings for the final lessons."

As Mio nodded and got up to join Mugi, the mysterious blonde-haired girl said, "The day after tomorrow…is Valentine's, am I right?"

Mio looked surprised, but she nodded. "Y—Yes."

Her companion merely smiled and hummed along as they left the classroom.

* * *

_Is it me, or are you fading?  
_Anonymous

* * *

_No, no. It must be a nightmare. A lurid, most awful nightmare. _

"Hey, have you heard? The - - - -!"

"Gosh, you too? Poor girl. The headmaster really should be careful."

"No, but look, ah, there's the girl!"

Someone obstructed her vision. But she could not see the person. No matter how she squinted, she couldn't. But the voices continued babbling onwards.

"Ohh! And so young too."

"I heard that she was once a drummer in a… lame club or something. Hard luck."

"But look at her face!"

"Yes, yes, the operation has taken much risk. She's lucky she's still alive."

_What? Are they talking about… Ritsu?_

The someone stopped walking and turned towards her. With steady steps, she began approaching her.

"Ugh, look, she's nearing that girl over there."

"Does she mind? She looks like she's smiling."

"I think it's more of a pained smile. I pity her."

_I'm not smiling! And how dare they talk to me in that manner!_

The someone stopped in front of her, and called out her…name?

"Akiyama-san. Please move. You're blocking my way."

_Akiyama-san? No. Ritsu never calls me that. But is that really her?_

The sounds of sobbing filled her ears. _T-that sounds like…me?_

"It's me, Ritsu! It's me! Say my name! Tease me, anything, please! Just don't call me that!"

_Is that m—me? Why am I c—crying?_

"Aww, now that poor girl's crying. It's because of that cursed girl."

"Yea, we should remove her."

A bloody scream pierced through the night, and …Ritsu? backed away.

"No, where are you going? Don't leave me!"

_No no NO! Yada! _

Mio woke up from a dream, her neck and face drenched with cold sweat as she sat up on bed, her grayish eyes big, fearful and terrified. Cuddling close her blanket, she lied down again and tried to go sleep but couldn't.

_What was that? That was…horrible. _As her brain racked for clues, a single word floated above. It made sense, but she didn't want it to be. Anything but that. She crouched under her blankets, unaware of the tears running down her face.

"Please no. Don't let it be a premonition," she whispered faintly, closing her eyes and therefore, shutting out the tears.

She didn't even know it existed or not.

* * *

_Death may be the greatest of all human blessings._

_Socrates_

* * *

The pretty, tall girl walked down the road, hugging close her coat and thanking herself for remembering to bring her warm gloves. It was indeed a very cold night; her nose was cherry red as she warmed her face with puffs of breath. In her right hand, she clutched a cherry red umbrella. She inserted her hands into her school coat pocket and took out her mobile phone. Pressing the mail icon, she clicked again at the first message. It was from Ritsu.

_From: Ritsu  
To: Mio_

_Oi, Mio~ Mind coming down to the park tonight? Don't reply if you trust me! I have something for you._

_P.S: Bring your umbrella with you._

Her heart quickened for the hundredth time that day. Her damp hands struggled to hold the phone as she hugged the phone. _What is she doing this late at night? _She thought as she held the umbrella close to her chest.

"Mio!"

The familiar, compassionate voice hit the dark-haired girl like a wave of tsunami, drenching from hair to toe with salty water, but in this case, dousing her face red like the umbrella she was carrying. _W-What's wrong with me? It's just an ordinary best friends' meeting. Right? _Somehow, she felt less convinced as every second ticked by. When Ritsu approached her with a sloppy grin on her face, Mio's face reddened and bonked her on the head, naturally.

"Ow! What was that for?" said Ritsu, hurt at being hit without reason, rubbing her head and wincing simultaneously.

Her companion took a deep breath, red tint dissipating as she placed the umbrella on the ground. "One, for taking me… Ehem, for asking me… Uhh, for persuading me, yes, persuading me, to go out late at night when we should study for our upcoming entrance exams. Two, do you know how difficult it is to convince an overprotective mother? Three, why at night?"

Ritsu stopped rubbing her head and smiled. "Then why did you bother coming out? I thought you wouldn't."

"That… Give me a straight answer!"

"That _is _my answer. Thank you for trusting me." She smiled at Mio, and for once, the raven-haired girl knew it was a sincere, genuine kind smile. Not the kind of teasing smile Ritsu always has with her, but a different, gentle smile.

"W-Whatever," said the flustered Mio. "Anyway, why have you brought me here?"

Instead of replying, the amber-haired girl looked up against the stars. Mio looked at her, concerned at Ritsu's silence. She noticed something strange and alien at Ritsu's face. Something that wasn't part of her. What is it?

Not wanting to appear worried, Mio tapped the end of her umbrella on the ground. "What is it you wanted to show me?"

Ritsu lost that strange look and chuckled good-naturedly without any apparent reason. "Nothing. I just wanted to test you," she simply replied, smiling at her while tilting her head.

Surprise and shock was written all over Mio's face in black permanent marker. "T-Test me?"

Ritsu chuckled. "You should see the look on your face, Mio-chuan~ You look cute." The unexpected accolade brought crimson spots appear on Mio's face.

"D-Don't change the subject, Ritsu!" said a red-faced, mortified Mio, but clearly pleased at Ritsu's sudden compliment. _What's wrong with me? What's wrong with a simple praise? _She averted looking at those suddenly bright golden eyes staring at her.

The amber-eyed girl laughed once more, tilting her head skywards. When the laugh died, a raindrop fell lightly on Mio's face, and she wiped it off, imitating Ritsu's actions; up at the dark clouds that had suddenly gathered above them. She blinked away the second drop and lowered her gaze at her suddenly quiet best friend. She tilted her head, and moved forwards to her.

"Ritsu?" she said softly, wanting to break that eccentric look on her friend's face. Unconsciously, she reached out and gently touched Ritsu's face, worried at her lack of response. The third and fourth raindrop fell on her eyelids.

The peculiar gaze disappeared as Mio caressed her face. The light-brunette blinked and turned her gaze at her raven-haired companion. An amused smile danced upon her lips.

"Did I get you worried?" she answered in reply to Mio's puzzled look. A thrilled, haunted laugh, a laugh that didn't belong to the cheerful girl Mio used to know.

"Ritsu?" she said again, concern clearly shown on her face. D_rip, drip. _The tenth raindrop fell on her hair and slid down. Making no feat to brush it off, another joined the tenth. As they continued to stare at each other, not sure of what to do, Mio counted the raindrops.

Twelfth. Ritsu nodded and gestured at Mio's umbrella. "Open it. You're going to catch a cold here." Mio noticed that she was the only one holding an umbrella. She ignored Ritsu's words, and continued counting the cold, yet pretty raindrops. Thirteenth. The amber eyed girl moved away from Mio and stepped into the middle of the silent, empty road. Mio made no feat to go close to her, but apprehension filled her gray eyes.

"Mio. Do you think me annoying?"

The raven-haired girl looked at Ritsu closely. _Is she hallucinating? _"You know my answer."

Fourteenth. "Do you hate me then?"

Mio jolted. "Ritsu? Don't make me hit you on the head again."

Fifteenth. "I'm serious, Mio. Do you hate me?"

Sixteenth. Seventeenth. Mio looked down and brushed off the raindrops on her face. "No," she said softly. "Why would I ever hate you? You're my best friend."

Eighteenth. "Then… I wish to see that myself."

"What?"

Nineteenth. "What do you mean, Ritsu?"

"Aren't those raindrops beautiful? I know you're counting them, Mio, I can see the look on your face and the numbers whispering itself to you. The twentieth is surely a little bird's mini tiara. Don't you think?" Twentieth.

Mio had no time to consider Ritsu's abrupt poetic words. A blinding flash screened Mio's vision, and reflexively, she dropped her umbrella and held up her hands, her eyes squinting in the bright light. There was a screech as a car halted, a little bump. Then there was the sound of a car retreating and disappearing into the night. All those activities in a blink of an eye. When Mio's vision returned and her pupils grew accustomed again to the dark, it was already raining heavily. Her coat was drenched wet with rain and her hair stuck to her back. She picked up her umbrella, and opened it and searched for her friend.

She was nowhere to be found. As Mio stepped forward to where Ritsu last stood, her foot prodded something and looked down. Disbelieve and absurdity filled her gray eyes to the point of her soul screaming.

* * *

_I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent._

_Marilyn Monroe_

* * *

**_Fast-forwarding…_**

_You wanted to give me this? That was cruel of you, Ritsu. You wanted to test me? I could have received a thousand blows from you and not flinch. Just wake up. Please. _

_Dark. So dark. I'm scared._

"Poor girl. She must have had the shock of her life."

A cold voice ran through the poor girl's body as her senses came to life. She was lying on somewhere cold and hard. Hard enough for her body to grow stiff. She opened her eyes and saw a man in white standing over her. She struggled to move, but her arms and legs were tied to the…metal white bed she was lying on. Her gray eyes pictured the fear and apprehension as they grew wide.

"Ah, you're awake."

"W-where am I? Why are there ropes around my hands and legs?"

"We were afraid you'll thrash about like your little friend next door. Please untie her, nurse."

A couple of women in white moved forward to untie her, but the raven-hair girl flinched. "My friend?"

"We have called up your parents, and.."

"No! I need to see her!" Before the nurses could finish untying her, she was already sitting up, her heart pounding furiously under her ribs and her head beating in rhythm. The women in white proceeded to hold her as she tried to jump out. She resisted in response to their iron grips, her eyes no longer shielding the tears of fear and terror.

"Let…me go!" she cried out, and with a final move, she was released and flew into the corridors of the creepy white hospital. _Ritsu! Ritsu! _Her body moved of its own accord, and she barged open another door. Someone screamed and another shouted at her. But her eyes were not on them.

_Is that… _She went closer. No one stopped her as she reached out and touched the body that had the same fate as her before she ran away; on the cold, hard metal bed and the hands and legs bound tightly with thick ropes. _What are you? How could they do this to you? You're not an animal… _Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she caressed her friend's unresponsive face. _You're my best friend. _

Golden eyes opened. Gray met gold, and relief, happiness and joy seeped into the crying raven-haired girl, but her heart nearly stopped as Ritsu's own eyes searched her. Delving deep into her. Instead of the familiar, joyous presence, it was the feeling of a vast, alien-like company. Mio retreated from the touch, and looked horrifyingly at the being who was once her best friend. Her closest mate and the one she loved dearly.

_Baka Ritsu. Why do I have to endure this test of yours? _

No one heard her heart screaming with such despair that her tears fell without stop on her cheeks. Averting her eyes from the eyes of which she had never known, her knees collapsed and she fell in a heap on the floor.

_Clowns are never meant to be funny._

* * *

Hmm... What do you think? I may not be as great, but Mitsu is interesting. I enjoy reading long, serious reviews, so think carefully over your words before reviewing. Thank you for reading. Expect the next update long.

P.S: Actually, I planned this to be a oneshot, but since I have a...habit of prolonging stories when they shouldn't be... This would be a multi-chaptered story. Flames appreciated.


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